A few of my peers — that word seems impersonal but I don’t know how accurate a descriptor “friends” is for the people at Mizzou who I used to know — have been keeping personal blogs for a while now and I’ve found them interesting. Mostly I appreciate their ability to take control of what was probably originally a writing project foisted on them by a journalism professor, but they’ve also been turning out some really great writing. They’ve been writing about all kinds of things — college and work and travel and journalism and feminism and relationships and internships — and it feels genuine, which is really appealing to me. So I’m gonna try it!
I’ve always had a weird compulsion to shout about mundane details of my life to the void of the internet (this is why I love Twitter so much) but I never committed to proper blogging, probably because I never felt like it jived with the kind of personal writing I wanted to do. Blogging seemed like something serious and un-fun, and my attempts at keeping blogs for classes were halfhearted at best and outright pathetic at worst. Then there’s this persistent idea that putting up anything personal online will destroy your future. Nobody will hire you after finding something you wrote about that time you got stranded for 48 hours at Chicago O’Hare with food poisoning, apparently, so you’d better just post another bland picture of your tomato plants with a note about how glad you are that it’s spring. I don’t know how much of that is a general societal anxiety about the permanence of the internet and how much of it is j-school-fueled paranoia, but either way I don’t like it. It feels like hiding. So I’m using my name for this blog. I am at least 80% sure that this will not result in me being denied employment or axe murdered by an internet stalker.
I’m not entirely sure what the goal — or objective, or theme, or whatever — of this blog is going to be yet, or if it even needs one, but I think it’s going to be decidedly personal rather than focusing on any kind of project or subject. I’m kind of isolated socially these days, what with living at home, so I think it’ll be good for me to have somewhere to talk about life. Also — ugh, this is unavoidable — there’s gonna be some depression talk, because it is a Thing That Happens. Wow, this paragraph is just sad, let’s move on.
There might also be reviews here, maybe? I’ve been trying to write more reviews over on Goodreads but my opinions on media are not limited to books, so feelings about music and movies and television and comics and whatnot will probably work their way on here. Most of my internet presence up to this point has largely consisted of me having shouty opinions about things and I seriously doubt that this blog will escape that.
Hm, what else to write about? I’m getting into my major and liking it a lot. I’m trying to plan my Haunted Pennsylvania Road Trip (Pittsburgh to Gettysburg to Philadelphia to Centralia and back). I’ve been teaching myself how to draw and I’m actually pretty pleased with my progress. I might get another hermit crab soon. I’ve started writing (fan)fiction again and it’s been rough but fun. I’ve been making an effort to dress better. I’m thinking about trying my hand at writing a comic script but I’m not sure what about. Not a lot of big things are happening, but a lot of small things are. I think this blog is for small. Big feelings about small things.
What I think I’m looking for is just do to some more long-form personal writing. Twitter’s too short and Tumblr’s too casual. The important thing is, though, that I don’t want to ever feel like this is something I have to do, or like I have some kind of responsibility to be interesting. This should be something that I do for me. If other people like it that’s great, but if not, whatever.
…okay, it’s two in the morning, I have five more pages on “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” due in 10 hours and I would rather walk over hot coals than write another sentence about chivalry. This post might be glorified procrastination, but my blogging intentions are sincere!
Stop looking at me like that.